Fort Lauderdale, Venice of America, if Venice had jet skis, buckets of things that are flammable, and billionaires with arrest records
Fort Lauderdale comes at you all snooty and with that post-surgery upturned nose looking down at your Crocs with socks.
In this guide
- Las Olas Boulevard – Retail therapy meets Bacardi therapy
- Fort Lauderdale Beach – It’s the decent twin of South Beach
- Bonnet House Museum & Gardens – Old money meets old Florida
- The Water Taxi – It’s Uber, but for voyeurs
- Hugh Taylor Birch State Park – This is your detox interval
- NSU Art Museum – It’s culture with central air
- Lauderdale-by-the-Sea – The beach nostalgia that refuses to die
- Jungle Queen Riverboat Cruise – It’s kitsch, but lean into it
- The Wharf – Day drinking as a performance art
- Everglades Airboat Tour – Hold onto your eyebrows
And before it can give you a spiel on its pedigree – you reign her in. “We went to college together… I know where the bodies are buried… and about that tattoo you’re trying to hide.” You know, the one you got in Panama with Ricardo.
Fort Lauderdale is Miami’s slightly more composed cousin. The one who wears linen pants, owns a boat and swears they “don’t party like they used to,” but is somehow still awake at 4 a.m. playing craps with a hedge fund manager and a man who claims to be Vanilla Ice’s personal chef.
It used to be an actual fort – thus the name. Like many places in Florida, this place was akin to The Wall in “Game of Thrones” and here, the Wildlings actually owned the land. And, inside The Wall, like that scene where it all goes full throttle and John is stabbed, the officers were missing a couple of screws. Each place is full of history, and madcap escapades, murder and foul deeds.
This is a city that once hosted the nation’s wildest college spring breaks, then flipped the script into a yachting playground so opulent it makes Monaco look like a yard sale. It’s the kind of place where you can stumble across a half-forgotten tiki bar with $5 piña coladas. Yet, two blocks later, you can stand in the shadow of a mega-yacht that could legally invade a small nation.
Why? Cause like all of Florida the place was a literal no-man’s land. The last stop before civilization dropped off the map. Geography 101. Grab a map, or Google (do we even own maps nowadays), and look at Florida. Notice something? Yup, most of civilization edges to the coast. The rest, when you go into its heart, just gators, spiders, skunk apes, sharks and things that eat the things that go bump in the night. Every couple of years, we just grab a machete and go into the brush and expand the cities.
But, when Fort Lauderdale was still cheap, and you could get a beach house for pennies, you still had to fight with your neighbors and your neighbors carried rifles.
Fort Lauderdale flows in every direction at once – luxury, grit, kitsch, decadence -& all poured over ice and served with a paper umbrella that immediately blows into the water.
With this in mind, here’s where to dive in.
What to do in Fort Lauderdale
1. Las Olas Boulevard – Retail therapy meets Bacardi therapy
This is the main artery: a shopping runway, a slow-motion car show, a drunken anthropology study the likes of which Dian Fossey and Jane Goodall could write research on. Here you can watch a man in a $2,000 blazer argue with a parking meter, or see a Yorkie wearing more diamonds than some Saudi Arabian princes… Oh wait, that is a Saudi Arabian prince.
Why go? Because every storefront feels like a dare: “Sure, buy a $6,000 handbag… you’re on vacation.” And when you inevitably regret it, the mojito bar next door will counsel you better than most therapists.
Because, as Freud and Jung or some other academic will tell you: “you have pe@$s envy” Although Jung will probably tell you something about the collective subconscious and, cause he was such a looker, try to bed you. And, if he looked just a bit like Fassbender in that movie, you’ll probably let him.
Anyway, the therapist will probably tell you that the Freudian slip is the reason why you get such an oxytocin thrill out of lording over your friends at the weekend barbecue that you paid: “mucho dinero for that.”
2. Fort Lauderdale Beach – It’s the decent twin of South Beach
White sand. Blue water. None of the “do you know who I am?” energy from Miami.
Still, don’t get too relaxed … the sea gulls here are ex-cons. Everyone here is an ex-con. Don’t believe me? Fort Lauderdale is near Boca Raton, look up that place and also the mob. Turns out the outfit not only gives you a gold Rolex when your wise guy days are gone, they also give you keys to a condo in Florida cause “You didn’t squeal, Jimmy, you are part of la familia.”
Folks in these neck of the woods have done time. But, like all ruffians and possible sociopaths, they are great conversationalists. They will help you out. They will, like Tony Soprano, charm you. And in that beach-like atmosphere you will love it.
Why go? Because you actually want to enjoy the beach without dodging bottle service carts and drone photographers. Also, the beach walk smells like coconut sunscreen and poor decisions. But in the best way.
3. Bonnet House Museum & Gardens – Old money meets old Florida
A 1920s mansion turned museum that feels like Gatsby moved to the tropics and got into exotic fruit cultivation. “There was a green light?… Daisy? Oh right, I forgot about her once I met Sofia. She’s from Venezuela and there are things she can do… Did I tell you she’s a gymnast?”
There are murals, swans, and a weird amount of seashell art.
Why go? Because you’ll leave wondering if maybe, just maybe, you too could live in a house with its own orchid room and a pet monkey. Because this is what you do on vacation in Florida… You try to sell the idea that “I came for the history and culture…” When in reality, you came for the beats and the bottomless something.
4. The Water Taxi – It’s Uber, but for voyeurs
You board thinking, “Oh, a boat ride!” But you end up 90 minutes deep into a floating episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and the Felonious. The captains have the goods and the gossip. Who just sold their mansion, which yacht got raided by the DEA and where to get the best stone crab claws after midnight.
They’ll tell you juicy tidbits you can use if ever you need a career change: “The trick is to paint the waterline closer to the gunwales. That way when the boat rides low, with your hull full of contraband, the Coast Guard won’t stop you, you’ll fool them.”
Why go? Because you can sip a libation, drift past multi-million-dollar homes and pretend you’re scouting locations for your next divorce.
5. Hugh Taylor Birch State Park – This is your detox interval
It’s a miracle this green lung still exists. One side: beach. Other side: jungle. In between? Locals jogging like they’re being chased by debt collectors. But that’s Florida for you. This scene happens all over the place. St. Augustine, Miami, Key West.
Why go? Because after two days in Fort Lauderdale, you will need to sweat out the “It’s five o’clock somewhere” mentality.
6. NSU Art Museum – It’s culture with central air
Big, bright and teaming with art that ranges from “profound social commentary” to “this looks like my kid’s finger painting.”
Why go? Because it’s the only place in town where the bartender doesn’t know your name yet.
7. Lauderdale-by-the-Sea – The beach nostalgia that refuses to die
It’s as if a postcard from 1973 came to life and learned how to make frozen daiquiris. Pastel motels, fishing piers, locals who still think The Eagles were “that new band.”
Why go? Because you need one day in Florida where the wildest thing that happens is a man in flip-flops giving you fishing tips and asking about your wife’s marital status, cause, “free love man. Monogamy is a state sponsored prison.
8. Jungle Queen Riverboat Cruise – It’s kitsch, but lean into it
Old-school tour with dinner, jokes older than your parents, and a slow drift past all the things you can’t afford.
Oh, did I mention there’s an option for an all you can eat BBQ on an island? And while you’re making the gods envious and people in other countries marvel at the absurd abundance and commercialism of the Gringo State of Mind, you’ll be treated to a Polynesian show with fire dancers, fire eaters, and drummers. It’s basically “Lilo and Stitch” but with actual Stitches about to go gonzo if you so much as take a look at their chicken tenders.
Why go? Because you secretly like corny jokes, and it’s the only cruise where no one will try to sell you a timeshare.
9. The Wharf – Day drinking as a performance art
Waterfront, outdoors, food trucks and the exact spot where time stops making sense. You arrive for “lunch” and leave wondering what year it is.
Why go? Because you need to dance at 3 p.m. next to a guy in a flamingo shirt who definitely owns a boat called Sea Señor. And, when said guy offers you Sugar Baby status, you start to wonder if it makes sense… And realize that somewhere in the multiverse you took the offer and it was probably the best decision ever.
10. Everglades Airboat Tour – Hold onto your eyebrows
Just outside the city, you can hop onto a fan-powered death sled and skim across alligator-infested waters while your captain explains, “This one here’s missing a leg from an incident with a lawnmower.”
Yes, I once went on one, a guy jumped off the boat, with a gator the size of a landcover beside him and petted the thing. Then he jumped back on the boat. He then went on a very explicit side story about Eastern Air Lines Flight 401… “crashed right there”
Oh and the site is haunted. To what an extreme? Pieces of the plane’s wreckage can be found in Ed and Lorraine Warren’s Occult Museum in Monroe, Connecticut. Yes, that “Conjuring” couple.&
Why go? Because it’s the only time you’ll ever lock eyes with a prehistoric predator and think, “Man, he’s actually kind of cute.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Fort Lauderdale worth visiting?
Yes — especially if Miami feels like too much work. Fort Lauderdale delivers the same beaches, better parking, quieter restaurants, and about 80% of the nightlife at a fraction of the scene. It’s the better choice for couples, families, and anyone who doesn’t want to spend their vacation dodging bottle service carts. If you’re weighing the two, here’s how expensive Miami really is.
What is Fort Lauderdale known for?
Canals (it’s called the Venice of America for a reason), beaches, yachting, and an outsized concentration of retirees with interesting backstories. The annual Fort Lauderdale International Boat Show is one of the largest boat shows in the world. It’s also a major cruise port and home to FLL airport.
How many days should you spend in Fort Lauderdale?
Two to three days is the sweet spot — enough time to hit the beach, cruise the canals via water taxi, and do one proper Las Olas night. If you’re coming in via cruise ship or doing a day trip from Miami, you can get the highlights in six hours.
Fort Lauderdale or Miami — which is better?
Depends on the trip. Fort Lauderdale for a calmer beach getaway. Miami if you want the scene. For the full honest breakdown, see Fort Lauderdale vs Miami.
Fort Lauderdale and you
Fort Lauderdale is proof you can grow up without growing old. It’s got enough yacht money to sink an island, enough grit to keep it interesting and just the right amount of madness to remind you this is still Florida.
Come to the beach. Stay for the gossip, the canals and the possibility you’ll accidentally crash a billionaire’s birthday party.
And if you want to skip the rookie errors, see what not to do in Fort Lauderdale. What do you think of Fort Lauderdale? Let us know in the comments!
It’s a shame what happened to Lauderdale. Sorry I’d never move back 😢
left lauderdale 50 yrs ago. visit my sis in hollywood from time to time (rarely).now lived in asheville nc for the last 20 yrs.asheville is beautiful, lauderdale is ugly.